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When I didn't want to take care of myself, but God did.

A good line from Tom Hanks. life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.

When I became pregnant with Luke I had many complications. I had to take a baby aspirin a day, cause I found out I have a blood clotting disorder. At 20 weeks I had to start taking shots once a week just to try to go full term with him (Joslynn came 6 weeks early). Then here comes the horrible glucose test. Failed it because of the shots I had to take and my eating habits were awful.  Pregnancy is not my friend. I was sick for quite a while, Hurt, ect... The list could go on. Back to when I failed the glucose test.

Failing that test at the time seemed like one of the worst things for me. I eat like a child. I have literally lived off of chicken nuggets. I could eat them every day. I didn't even eat a hamburger till I married Justin. Bread and sweets was my best friend. I  love junk food. So when I failed that test my first thought is what am I going to eat? I didn't like any green veggies at all. Didn't hardly eat anything that was healthy.  I cried and cried over this. So anyways, the Lord knows how to get to my heart. My kids. I would do anything for them. Even eat a salad. I knew I had to do it for Luke or he would struggle with diabetes. I didn't want that. 

On a side note. When I became pregnant with Luke I prayed and prayed to God. Begging him to let me keep him. I told the Lord if he let me keep him that I would raise my kids in church and more importantly point them to Him.  I had two miscarriages before I had Luke. So I was scared of losing him. But God keeps his promises. Even when I didn't always load the kids up to church every time the doors was open. God sees my heart. He knows my weaknesses.  He knew I would have trouble at times keeping my end of the bargain up. I am weak, I make mistakes, but God doesn't. 

Now back to the gestational diabetes. I really hated all of it. As time went on though I learned to like it. Keeping track of how I was feeling. Being careful on how much I put in my body and what I put in my body truly helped me. Getting gestational diabetes changed me. It helped me to like healthy food. It has helped me to stay on the right track for myself. Now I don't always do that. Food is the sin I struggle with daily. Sometimes I do great. Other days not so much. That's my own fault when I don't trust that the Lord can help me or I just don't want to flat out listen. Say a prayer for me. I wish I didn't love junk so much. Really though I am thankful that I got gestational diabetes. It has helped me to want to do better for myself. Also when I was pregnant with Ozella if I hadn't been eating right with her I probably couldn't have walked at all with her. My joints produce to much hormone called relaxin. It makes all your joints loosen up to have a baby. Mine however loosened to much. My hips would pop out of place all the time. If I had been much heavier I really don't think I would have been able to walk. Somedays was really hard for me to even get up and down. So I am thankful for the trials I have went through. No I don't like it when I am going through them. Yes I complain and lack faith at times. But when it is said and done. I see once again how God saved me from myself (which he does often) I am thankful for the trails. He knows exactly what I need and when I need it. I Thank the good Lord for being patient and loving.

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